


This Time

by cillasstuff



Series: 7-Day Challenge #2 [5]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-10
Updated: 2013-02-10
Packaged: 2017-11-28 20:45:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/678711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cillasstuff/pseuds/cillasstuff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam feels guilty for not looking for Dean while he was in purgatory.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Time

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for 7-day Challenge #2 prompt remorse

The last time Dean went away even though they didn’t know it, they’d been lucky because they had an angel in their pocket or on their shoulder or whatever the fuck the expression was, they’d had it. Castiel was his name and he pulled Dean up from the pits and left his mark on Dean as proof. This time however, wherever Dean went their angel and their luck went with him. 

After burying his brother, Sam had searched recklessly trying to find a way to get his brother back at his side where he belonged. He’d been so desperate that he even tried to sell his soul, but apparently, the former would be leader of the YED’s super army was no longer in vogue and there’d been no takers. This time he didn’t even know where to begin.

Normally, his knee jerk reaction was to call Bobby and pick his brain. If Bobby didn’t know he had a vast network of hunters whose brains he could pick and if they did not know, then he had his books. Not this time though, Bobby got dicked when they were trying to kill the Leviathans and he was dead.

After Dean and Cas disappeared, Crowley, the self-proclaimed king of hell vanished with Kevin and Meg and Sam wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do, because he was alone with no one to turn to. When they started hunting, it was him, Dean and dad. Over the years friends came in the form of Bobby, Rufus, Ellen and Jo, and as just quickly as they came, they all died just as fast while hunting and each death more violent than the other. This time Sam was truly alone.

After leaving Roman Enterprises, Sam got into Dean’s car and drove. He had no idea where he was going, or what he was going to do. The only thing he was sure of was that it wasn’t going to involve hunting the supernatural. So he put away the phones and kept one for personal use and just drove until he found a place where he could belong, where he could be normal. Dean was gone and this time Sam wasn’t going to try to find him.

When he accidently hit the dog he had not intended to keep it, just get it some help, but when the sarcastic vet all but demanded that he take ownership he did. Not because she shamed him into it, but because of what the dog represented. Riot was Bones and the freedom he sought from a life he didn’t chose when he ran away as a teenager. The biggest difference was that this time was there would be no dad or Dean coming to drag him away.

When he got the call from Dean a year later, shock didn’t begin to cover his emotions. He was in bed with another, when his real love called, and that’s when the guilt set in. He left Amelia and Riot without a second thought when Dean beckoned. When he arrived at Rufus’ cabin and Dean tested him to make sure he wasn’t something supernatural, his guilt wouldn’t let him do the same. Sam could look in Dean’s eyes and see that it was the same body but the year had changed something in the man and he felt guiltier. Even though Sam had his brother back, again, this time forgiveness from Dean would be a long time coming.


End file.
